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The New Boss Bonus

In a screwed up organization, it is not unusual to have a dead man walking. He knows the axe is coming, and he’s half-way to zombie land. It’s no use to try to explain anything remotely complicated, because he will zone out before you get to the interesting parts and you will have to do it again (at least once). One mill manager we had went through this for 6 or 7 weeks before the Nazis came in to help him clean out his personal things.

This same guy once told me that if he pursued the course of action I was advocating, I would receive “the new mill manager bonus”, i.e. a new mill manager. (He must have been very experienced at pacing along the gallows…)(And he blew me off that time though he admitted that I was right…) You might remember that my boss got the heave-ho a few weeks back, and now we have the new boss bonus.

The new boss is interim. He came from headquarters. He is the VP’s designated troubleshooter. (Can you get the flavor for this already? This bonus is not much of a bonus…) He has experience at our plant as the designated troubleshooter, but I’d be lying if I told you his leadership proved the difference on that particular problem. In fact, I’d lean to the side of he made things worse, not better.

He is one of these guys:
Rule #1 – The boss is always right.
Rule #2 – If the boss is wrong, see rule #1.
Rule #3 – If you mention the first part of rule #2, prepare for some “teasing” about your performance in front of your peers.

He is really good at doing what his boss wants. He is really good at interpreting his boss’s statements and taking action. For example, if his boss says, “It looks like rain today. A little rain would do some good around here…” you can bet that the new guy will make sure the fire brigade practices near his boss’s office, just in case.

I’m doing too much whining, as usual. It’s not all that bad. Even though he won’t be around very long, and he does some goofy things, he brings more than Brussels sprouts to the table.

This one is really basic, but it has surprised even me at how refreshingly refreshing it has been. He listens. I said it was basic. On one of his first days he asked me a question, listened to the answer, asked a follow-up, listened to the answer, and thanked me as he walked away. He didn’t browbeat me for being wrong, or pile some more work on me after I answered, or even make a suggestion about my answer. (The old boss did these exact things and worse.)

We are now at the stage where he has begun to see some of the problems and wants to know why we have not solved them. Or, at the very least, who is in charge of the problem and why aren’t they doing anything about it. (I’d say that answer is fairly obvious – some of our problems cost too much money to fix, and some of our problems only raise their ugly heads intermittently, so once they disappear we “forget” about them until the next time.) Telling him that it’s not a priority is akin to telling a Tea Partier that taxes aren’t that bad.

To this point here are the things that make up the bonus:
• Explaining things for the umpteenth time. (Did I forget to mention that this is our third boss THIS YEAR, and since he’s a temp we might just get another one? Four in one year??? That’s a record that may never be broken – I think Emmitt Smith’s record might go before this one…)
• Polite discourse (so far). That’s a real bonus…
• More busy-work to satisfy the big bosses. There’s no sense in reacting when you can over-react…
• Another boss to rip in a blog. Can’t underestimate that one…
• Ineffectual leadership that seems effective to corporate. Is it better to be good at something or to have everyone think that you are good at it?

There’s no telling how long this particular wave will run, but we’ll ride it to the beach, clean the sand out of our shorts, and head back out to catch another one. Such is the nature of the new boss bonus…

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